loving soul

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A word to all of us (especially me): don't try and sell yourself on the first pretty face who comes along to end a dating drought. Don't try and convince yourself that things will get better or you need to give him more of a fair chance. Screw that. You know what you know--you just have to let yourself know it. You will know when it's right.

(This in no way changes my policy of second dates for all but the most annoying men in the world. Everyone gets to make at least a second impression.)

If I look back on my happy, successful relationships, I knew every single time, and very early on, that it would be a good thing. And if I look back at my unhappy, painful relationships, I knew then too. I knew, I know, and I will know.

The question is, what will I do with that knowledge? At the very least, if I choose to engage in another less than ideal relationship, I'd like to go in with my eyes open and not spend a lot of time flogging myself when it goes down in flames. Those downward spirals have moments to be appreciated too. If I'm going to choose that ride, I should at least enjoy it.

Then again, I'd rather choose something else. I'm going to work on that. And you have my permission to tell me (in the kindest possible way) the next time you see me ignoring my gut.