As a child, I wanted food, attention and toys.The list is endless.The more pain or suffering created by the negative story, the more important it is to generate a want to take me away from the displeasure.The idea is to move from the 30s through all the tiles 40–60, learning the mechanisms of each one and eventually transitioning into 60 and beyond.And if a person doesn’t, then there is a type of developmental delay where that person is acting ‘immaturely’ and the awareness of a more mature way is not yet available.Before launching into this level, a further clarification is required.What’s the problem with requesting?If you don’t ask, you won’t get what you want, right?It comes down to how it is asked and what sits behind the request.Ego thinks of itself and not the other people in the team.The Witness Mind is much more capable of intuitively connecting to what they, the team or the situation, specifically needs in order to move on.Above 60, the leader is connected to what’s best for the relationship of the team.Such requesting feels inclusive and validates the team’s requirements.A leader above 60 has access to the Witness Mind that can read the context more than the Thinking Mind can, so the request comes from a space that has taken more things into account.A type of ‘knowing’ what’s required replaces wishing, hoping, guessing or demanding what we think is required.Let’s look at each tile in turn.Sustaining life is the basic priority and arises as an innate impulse to continue existing.The need to procreate to maintain survival of the species is another example.But what happens if my basic needs are met and I want more or start believing I should actually have more than what I have?I’ll compare my situation to others and desire more.I do not even have to think about this, it can just arise by itself, like a wave on the ocean.By simply viewing an external situation/object, the longing to have it arises and the prospect of having/possessing that which is presented releases a pleasurable response.Hoping to have something is initially an experience of wishing, and daydreaming can occur, which can all be potentially pleasing or pleasurable.Just thinking about it is the start required to activate this tile.The next step is to ask for it, either in my own head or from someone else or the team.I can ‘talk myself into’ anything being essential, so Requesting covers both an objective, measurable need, e.g.Moving beyond a vague feeling of hoping for something better towards deepening the want leads to the next tile.I do this by Identifying with something.Why do I make it about me and not the team or bigger picture?What would it take to do the latter?I will have to get into the 60s to do this.I can be involved if I can get something from it.It is easier to be in the 30s than in the 60s.Less effort, concentration, energy.However, it is more rewarding personally if you get to the 60s and don’t have to be preoccupied by getting something.I scan life for signs of things that I believe can help me feel good.What does ‘good’ mean?Identifying, 38This tile arises when the number of things I encounter in daily life is such that requiring or wanting all of them would be problematic.It makes sense to search around my marketplace, home and social life to see what interests me enough so that I can place my energy and time in imagining what it would feel like to acquire that ‘thing’.The authentic reasons why something appeals, repels, attracts or disgusts may not be available in the awareness at this level.I just feel compelled to act in a way to get what I identify with according to the many programmes and stories I have running below the surface of awareness.I can create any number of ‘reasons’ why I have a preference with little understanding of how that preference came about and if I am actually bound to it.At this tile, I go into detective mode, searching for something to stimulate a good feeling or ease a negative feeling.The focus is ‘me’ rather than ‘us’ oriented and the objective is not the best outcome for the team, rather how to avoid feeling bad and increase feeling better.Either way, identifying is a means of finding what I believe I have to have or to get in order to have a certain experience.Teenagers can often move from one group to another, identifying with one way of being in friendship and finding out that it does not suit and moving into another identity.This does not need to be a negative process if a person is aware that a particular identity is being explored without identifying with it.Each of these may have a significantly different identity to the other so that the identity can fluctuate and even radically shift when each part is present.What one part wanted one moment can change dramatically or subtly when another part of us comes to the surface.This can often lead to a feeling of inner conflict or incongruency.Identifying tries to simplify often conflicting internal requirements and then I distinguish a way of focusing to get what I have identified as essential.Variations include associating, linking, labelling and comparing.I am to find what I am not by experimenting with identifying with others.With each realization of ‘Oh, I am not that,’ I am getting closer to who I really am.Through identifying, I get something – a belief, belonging or security.I may have identified very strongly with Mum, Dad, my nuclear family and not developed my true identity.The rebel is one way.Above 60 will feel more experimental.At 66, it is adventurous and at 85, there is lightness and openness to do that as it is spontaneous.I will join in where it seems there is something I will get from it.I am going to join in where there is something to give.How could not getting anything at all help with my identity?Is there anything that neither gives me pleasure nor takes away displeasure?What is the feeling of that?I am to find out what the replacement is.Narrowing Down, 37Narrowing down the awareness on one thing is now required as the identification process only brings general wants into awareness.As the interest intensifies, a more specific attention is required to increase the likelihood of getting what I feel, or believe I want.Narrowing down is the attitude of eliminating peripheral wants so as to zoom in on something specific.Let’s specialize, let’s not confuse, but minimize options and simplify.As the want centres on my own self, narrowing down can appear very beneficial in gaining what I want, but it can blur or even miss what the consequences are for other people.Narrowing down can eliminate or discard superfluous requirements or wants that are not a priority.It also means I can miss opportunities because I have blinkers on and am only focusing on what I have narrowed down to.Each Entrapment creates a story that is limiting in some way and narrowing down eliminates options that may have served the person and others.I now have a want that has become more personally important for me to have, so I curtail possibilities, refine choices, categorize, whittle down, downsize and zero in on that which I require, often not seeing Footer&af_web_dp=http://pointingatears.blogspot.com what others require as I narrow down.I begin to lose sight of the bigger picture by shrinking the options, reducing possibilities and scaling back from the unknown.How much energy is this taking that I could place elsewhere?What positive outcome could happen if I didn’t have this?Something new has taken my attention and it can feel good if I focus on having it or doing it.Can I redirect this attitude to the code?The more I focus on this, the more I can understand it.But I exclude other potentially important things and people.I am going into a dot.I can get lost in a dot.How do I go back towards the circle?I don’t want to let go of this.Where is the balance?Is it making me a better person?Attached, 36Attachment arises because I narrow down and become focused on what I want, investing time and energy in some ongoing capacity.I constantly remind myself of the importance of staying connected to and eventual possession of the desired object, person or outcome.This focus is to ensure I get what I want.I can physically attach in many ways, such as not being able to start the day without a coffee.A person can symbolically attach, such as signing an agreement to lead a new project.A person can also emotionally or mentally attach, such as I believe I must have the final say.The greater the perceived requirement, the more potential for attachment and more narrowing down can occur so that my desired person, object or outcome becomes attainable.The ‘want’ becomes more of my identity and I become more needy.Wanting grows through placing more time and energy in this way at these Entrapments.It seems like greater security or safety as attachment grows but it may be at the expense of independence or a sense of a strong self or autonomy.Dependency can arise.Ego identity is very much defined by what the individual can collect around himself, hence the importance of not just wanting but getting what is wanted.Attachment then anchors or eventually cements into place all the parts of the identity that Ego has collected in order to be itself.Without them, what is Ego?Its existence is based on what it gathers around itself.The ‘other’ person can feel tethered or unhealthily bound to me if Wars - tic tac too flash game. attachment prohibits freedom.Attachment can set up expectations of other people in unhealthy ways.We become bound up, cemented in, tethered, chained and tied to some idea or ideal.I am not letting go easily.My job, position, partner, they are available for me to enjoy while they are there – a day, a lifetime.Attachment tries to hold on when it may be time to let go.I have found something pleasurable, I must hang on to it.I never own anything.It is all passing through my hands, on loan to me.The ground beneath me is not truly mine, even if I have a piece of paper that says so.If I keep expecting something from the person or object then that will keep me connected to it/them.This puts pressure on the other person.I’ll make the transition from ‘I’ to ‘we’ focus.Daydreaming and fantasizing keeps me thinking about it or them when I haven’t got them physically.It can also be draining and a distraction if it’s just pleasure seeking.Competitive, 35Competition arises when there is an external opponent or opposition to acquiring what I want.There is someone to beat or compete against that energizes the Wanting.This intensifies the effort required to get what I want and more energy moves to the competitive behaviours in order to achieve success.The beliefs embedded in the story that action the Wanting drive the behaviour, which then creates emotional charge, which then fuels the original story and so on.This can play out in many different ways.For example, there can be an inner competition with an internal opponent called the saboteur or judge.This inner voice can be insisting that I will not have what I want, so I go into competitive mode to combat or suppress that inner critic to achieve the desired outcome.Competitive ups the ante, provides more focus and more narrowing down.Competition evokes a win/lose scenario, with rival egos competing against me.This can put time pressure on me as it turns into a race.Vying is pressure, rivalling is pressure.The prospect of losing is pressure.Competition among team members works against the cohesiveness of the fellowship.Vying for position, pushy and combative also exist here.What will it take for me to get that success?How can I feel good when I am not winning?Striving can be the way I learn and measure success.It will feel amazing when I have success.I am setting up my own suffering if I can only feel good when I am winning.I compare myself constantly and see she/he is more than I am.I want to be more than others.I will be myself and strive for my best rather than being better than others.Being better today than (木) 16:31:21url=http://pointingatears.blogspot.com I was yesterday replaces being better than others.Winning is the ultimate goal.Ask others for their perspective on who I am in relation to success.Feeling amazing no matter what I am is the ultimate goal.Scheming, 34Scheming can now open up because being competitive may not be enough to get what I want.Plans and agenda abound in this space.From simple to elaborate, this attitude has a real determination to get what it wants and because it is limited to a personal win alignment, the scheme can be detrimental to friends, family and colleagues.If I do this then I can have that, but the scheme may not ever realize others are also going to be affected.There is one change I am after and I need to devise a way or plan for that to happen.There may be a time pressure or competitors are involved so even less consideration for others and the bigger picture occurs.As the nature of the agenda is personal or for someone else who can then provide me with something, it is an Entrapment as it is not done with integrity.Anything not done with integrity has a tendency to denature, decay or rot so there is a perpetual requirement to keep feeding the scheme.This requires ongoing attention and is an energy drain.I might be described as cunning, crafty, calculating, devious, shifty, deceitful, double dealing, ‘yes but no’, controlling, seductive or manipulative.Above 60, power is internal and full of integrity and authenticity.I need to study these, I will study these.No one will know what my agenda secretly is.Withholding to get my own way is deceitful and deep down, doesn’t feel good.I will own up and release the tension of the situation.What does it matter to them if they don’t really know why?I would like to have as much context around each situation as I can so as to maximize my input and understanding.I have a secret plan and no one else needs to know.Isn’t it about who I become, not what I get?Look carefully at the plan to see if it will benefit others.Ambition is like a solid scheme, a rigid agenda that grows and accumulates ideas until the story is built around big expectations and requirements from myself and others.Ambition itself is a type of maturation story to establish myself on a path of what I want.There can be real hunger and striving for personal gain.Satisfaction is not derived until the story gives the required outcome.This can be observed by others as excessive or exaggerated and it can interfere with relationships.At its peak there can be an overzealousness and the results are driving the behaviour more than the journey.Others cannot relax or trust me or trust that I have the team or other best interests in mind.Behaviours can tend towards extravagant and flamboyant.Overtly, we might see demanding attention through a delirious state where a frantic, ostentatious display occurs.Let me show you.’How do I feel for the impact my actions and drive have on others?Why do I have to ‘know’?Can I be shown and if not, why not?I will flatten anything that gets in my way.What are the consequences of this amount of focus?Who am I trying to impress?What is the story that gets me to do this?I want this so badly I will step on other people to get there.Can I be more aware of what I inflict on others?That’s empathy, isn’t it?How I treat others is how I will end up being treated.Everybody else around here is just looking after themselves.This is a story with selective evidence.People are more important than positions or things.Maybe others don’t know that I can be the one to change, take the initiative?Addictive, 32Addictive arises when the desired outcome, person or object that I am attached to becomes seemingly indispensable and required to fulfil me or ease me in some way.Dependence has arisen from continually engaging with the story of what I want and how to get it.The effects that arise from the consequences that have built up within me grow to the point where if I do not have the focus or the end result of the addiction, I will ‘suffer’ withdrawal symptoms.Regardless of whether the addiction is work, a chemical substance, another person, a physical activity, without it I feel incomplete and stressed in some way so I feed the addiction by having more.A person’s system can habituate or get used to a certain level of that which is sustaining the addiction so I need more and more to ward off the withdrawal symptoms or to gain the ‘high’ pleasure that getting what I want provides.‘Just having one more’ seems innocuous and reasonable.‘I will change tomorrow’ is the deflection that doesn’t seem to happen.
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