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So no, my craving for a Taken In Hand relationship has nothing to do with ancestors at all.

by Louise C on 2005 Nov 5 - 04:40 | reply to this comment My parents were not Taken In Hand folk My parents were so opposite of the principles of a Taken In Hand relationship. My father bent to whatever whim my mother decided to utter. She didn't have the wisdom, strength or foresight to lead, but she controlled the show. I guess he didn't have the confidence to take it away from her. When he did make a decision, she would always second guess him, which further destroyed his confidence.

I learned a great deal from watching them relate. I learned that I didn't want what they had. I don't think that either of them was a very happy person.

On the other hand, what I believe that my mother sorely needed was a sore bottom from a firm handed husband who wouldn't put up with her nonsense. Unfortunately, my father never had the sense of purpose to overcome her and bring her under control.

My mother was not deferential in the least with my father, and I don't know how I would have felt about that if she had been. I have only recently become conscious of my own leanings in that direction, but I should have realized long ago that I am most comfortable at the feet of the men in my life.

I recently lost my partner of six years to suicide. Needless to say, I lost my world when he took his own life. He was everything to me. I might add that I was always the "hopeless devoted to you" type, and even through the difficult months prior to his suicide, I supported and loved him, deferring to him whenever possible.